No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
