it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
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