i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
