Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
