He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
