finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
