i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
this hospital has no fireball
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
