You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
