So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
