So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
All the doctor said was why
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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