Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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