Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize