Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
