i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
