apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
