So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
