i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
