so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
