He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
