I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
