there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
