At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize