I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
well I can't set my house on fire every night
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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