Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
