We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
