I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
