We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize