nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
