There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
