He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
PANTIES FOUND
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