why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
send nudes
from the living room?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
