i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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