I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
