we're blogging at a bar
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
