there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
