90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
They took my balls.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize