dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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