I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
