I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
