butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize