Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Randomize
