What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
