Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
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