i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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