She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i came on her dog
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
