Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
where does the pee come out of this thing
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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