I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
