I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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