remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
