sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
