Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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