there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
