My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize