That's intense
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize