Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Come see our sink grown plant.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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