id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
