Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
