You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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