now i know why i became what i already was.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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