is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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