Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
