I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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