in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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