Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
