Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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