he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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