What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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