I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm experimenting with sincerity
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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