i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
